Why We Chase Rabbits

We all have metaphorical rabbits, and we all chase them.
We chase rabbits out of curiosity, desperation, habit, or the need for validation.
We chase rabbits so we can stop chasing everything else.
We chase rabbits to try to gain a glimpse of the illusive, the mysterious, and the unknown.
We chase rabbits hoping we will some day catch one and be able to hold it in our arms.
We chase rabbits because there is that remote chance that something wonderful could happen.
Despite how exhausting it is, we never stop running.
Sometimes chasing rabbits causes us to fail.
Sometimes chasing rabbits forces us deeper into ourselves.
We can experience doubt, frustration, darkness, denial, and fear.
Usually, chasing rabbits yields no benefits. But we keep running.

"I heard you fell into a rabbit hole."

My goal is to illustrate a comprehensible depiction of the struggles and triumphs of everyday life for those who have adhered to society's assumptions and definitions of what it means to be mentally ill. It is not my goal to provide an accurate definition or description of bipolar disorder as an illness, but rather to share my unique life experiences.

No two people are alike, and no two diagnoses are alike. Everyone must find a combination of treatments unique to their illness. This blog is about my own travels through the world of mental illness treatment options, my own experiences, and my own opinions.

And those things will always change.

This narrative is part memoir, part psychological research, part brainstorm, and mostly my mind's ramblings.

I have decided to call this blog "Chasing Rabbits" because, for those of us who struggle every day with medication, mood swings, panic attacks, etc, it seems as if it will never end.

"If you go chasing rabbits, you know you're going to fall."

And in the spirit of creativity, I have decided to use references from my two favorite books by my favorite author: "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass" by Lewis Carroll.

I feel this to be appropriate because of all of the nonsense that seems to "make sense" in light of itself. I can use these references to conceptualize and materialize my mental musings.
"Alice" links the quandaries to story, story to pen, pen to paper, and back again. She provides the vehicle for explanation, and she is the continuum of creativity.

The parallels are eerily relevant; they provide textual insight to the inner-workings of the mind of the mentally ill (well, namely just my mind).

And it really was a kitten, after all.

I may not be a seven-year-old girl who has fallen into a rabbit hole, but I have been using Alice as a way to understand, as well as to be understood, when it comes to analyzing and creating analogies of what it is like to have a mental illness in a society that views it as deviant, dangerous, and unpredictable. I am able to exist among the "normals," and I hope they can exist among me.